Kim Kardashian Hollywood: An Experiment In Ego Limitations

Looks like Kim Kardashian is making a mobile game, and it’s the kind of garbage-level quality that you can expect to come out of the realm of reality TV stardom. It’s called Kim Kardashian Hollywood, coming to infect iOS’ and Android devices everywhere, mixes the vanity of trying to become famous without producing any useful skills or talent, and combines it with the gaming sensibilities of adventure games, dating sims and extremely low levels of RPG’s.

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With the goal to, “create your own aspiring celebrity and rise to fame and fortune,” Kim Kardashian Hollywood essentially puts you on several quests that reward you with “fame,” which acts like experience to level you up. As you complete more quests, you work your way up to work with record producer Simon, one who will call you at certain parts of your progression. However, as the end of the video can tell you, the game will put artificial wait times on you in order to hold back content behind a wait barrier.

The worst part about the entire ordeal; it contains the trappings of what makes traditional free-to-play mobile games frowned upon by including microtransactions that can cost up to $99.99. You can pay large sums of money to force yourself upwards within the search for Kim Kardashian levels of Hollywood stardom. The poetic irony is palpable!

Hilariously enough, the creators of the above video decided to film the promotional video above with the tact and effort as it took to make the game, itself. To the untrained eye, you can see from the beginning how the free-to-play whale trap is being set, with quests being solved by using your limited, but replenishing blue lightning bolts to complete tasks required. Inevitably, you will run out and will have to either wait 5 minutes to replenish one bolt or will have to pay real cash to blast through the game.

Kim Kardashian Hollywood does not appear to be, in essence, a game. Moreso, it looks to hold up the mirror to society in a cruel, cruel way.

Right around the halfway point, Kim Kardashian Hollywood footage grinds to a halt. The background chatter of the restaurant inexplicably disappears, right in the middle of you trying to impress your date. What results is the spawning of two avatars for what is wrong with self-indulgence in this world; engaging in a duel of awkward glances, nervous fidgeting and incomprehensible glamour shots at the camera. It puts the player in the trajectory and perspective of a creep hiding in the bushes, waiting around until something happens.

No matter how much involved Kim Kardashian is involved with this inevitable money-making scheme of a video game, my supreme wish is that Kim Kardashian Hollywood doesn’t set women back several decades in the process within the gaming industry. Whenever this game comes out, the inevitable band of both morbidly curious mobile gamers and the non-ironic fanbase that Kim Kardashian has (for no reason I can think of other than for delusional purposes) will make both Glu Mobile and her disappointingly wealthier, while putting the legitimacy of women within the boys club of the gaming industry in a tight spot (depending on its success).

Kim Kardashian Hollywood does not appear to be, in essence, a game. Moreso, it looks to hold up the mirror to society in a cruel, cruel way. Work your way up the Hollywood ladder by putting in your effort, biding your time and capitalize on your network of friends and work possibilities or brute force your way to excellence with money backing you and a complete lack of shame. If it worked for Kim Kardashian, why can’t it work for you?

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