I’ve thrown countless hours into Splatoon. Nintendo’s colorful, messy shooter has transformed over a million kids into squids by now, and its online multiplayer is by far its strongest and most recognizable feature.
Splatoon doesn’t have voice chat. But after hundreds of matches, there are some very clear personalities and archetypes that emerge from the ink. Some of them are annoying, and cause me to loudly exclaim across my house: “Not another one of THESE guys!” Others are hilarious; still others are delightfully challenging. Even if you’ve only played Splatoon for a few hours, chances are you’ve run into most, if not all, of the squids in this post.
Thus I present the ten types of players you will undoubtedly meet in Splatoon.
Next: Prepare to be splatted